LIFE'S SWEET FOR BEES Oct 10 2004
Allen has taste for job despite pear-dropping points to bland Tykes
Neil Ashton Reports
MARTIN ALLEN is one of the best, most innovative young managers in football. His Brentford team, built on a shoestring, are among the front runners in League One, and yesterday - at Barnsley - the former West Ham and QPR midfielder gave SP behind the scene access to their promotion bid...
8.30am: The midday kick-off has thrown the players' usual pre-match routine and they are up bright and early for breakfast. They sit, mostly in silence, watching Soccer AM but there's no sign of the manager Allen. He has ordered room service and is pleasantly surprised when a busty blonde arrives with his bacon and eggs. In fact, he is so impressed he calls for more coffee to be sent up half an hour later. He can't hide his disappointment when a male member of staff knocks on his door. The story breaks the tension for his players who double up with laughter. Allen's club is a happy club.
10.15: Allen names the team at the hotel. A combination of international call-ups and injury means he has to name two youth team players on the bench.
10.35: It's only 10 minutes to the ground, but Allen's choice of the Bay City Rollers for the bus journey is almost unbearable. The team get their own back when midfielder Chris Hargreaves spots a breach of club discipline. Allen is wearing a shooting jacket not an official Brentford bench coat. The error costs Allen a £100 fine. But it was a deliberate error to make sure his players are alert. Attention to detail is one of Allen's strengths...and his immaculately turned out team know it.
10.45: The players arrive at Oakwell and stroll straight out on to the pitch. Each player has two shirts on his peg, but they are not for swapping with the opposition. This isn't the Premiership. Two shirts are for the whole season.
11.00: Assistant manager Adrian Whitbread swaps team-sheets with his opposite number. Brentford already know how the Tykes are lining up. When Whitbread and physio Matt Hirons laid out the kit on Friday night, they accidentally stumbled across Barnsley's starting eleven complete with substitutes .
11.05: The Bay City Rollers have been replaced by high-tempo, uplifting dance music but there's competition down the corridor. The Barnsley team are trying to drown out the disco tunes .
11.15: Whitbread takes the players out to warm-up, but they are already having to calm down captain Stuart Talbot. He's telling the rest of his team-mates to look at the Barnsley side going through the motions. "Look at 'em, lads," he shouts over. "They don't want it do they? They don't fancy it." It's fair to say he had a point.
11.45: The Bees team sit in silence as Allen marches up and down the dressing room talking to individual players. You might expect him to rage and rant but this was cool, relaxed, the hard work had been completed. The players perform to his tune...I wouldn't like to be in their boots if they ignore his instructions.
11.53: The buzzer goes off, but there's pandemonium in the players tunnel. Barnsley have suffered an injury in the warm-up and, without Brentford's knowledge, replaced the victim with one of the substitutes. "I've checked the rules," protests the referee, but Allen is foaming at the mouth. "You f****** just make them up as you go along."
12.00: Kick-off and Allen is handing out wine gums to the substitutes. "They're so young we have to bring f****** sweets for 'em."
12.09: Former Barnsley striker Isaiah Rankin is getting stick from all angles. "You're making their defenders look like Beckenbauer - with your pace, you should leave him looking like a f****** wallflower."
12.22: Allen implodes when Rankin gives away a foul. "It's football, not netball," he screams at the ref. Bizarrely, he then asks the linesman if he plays badminton. It doesn't merit a response.
12.33: Rankin is unfairly booked for a foul on Tom Williams and Allen leaps to his feet. "You're a joke, ref," he shouts.
12.37: Allen begins writing notes and will tell Rankin to be more greedy in front of goal. The Bees striker pulls one wide and Allen isn't happy. "Note to self: tell Rankin he's a greedy f*****."
12.45: The fourth official has been battered by both benches all half. when the poor fella holds up the board showing the injury-time, Allen shouts over: "Well done, mate. It's about the only f****** thing you've got right."
12.48: Half-time and John Salako, who has been given grief from the bench, has an injury and can't carry on. For once, Allen is taken by surprise . He calls up Alex Rhodes as substitute. "He'll be Ronaldinho or Ronald McDonald," he tells the players. "F*** knows which."
13.00: Rhodes is reminded to win every header. "Pretend you're a basket-ball player, son, and you won't go far wrong." The bench is in stitches.
13.10: Rhodes shoots over the bar. Allen, grimacing, turns to the subs and admits: "It's all going pear-shaped." He produces a pear-drop from his pocket and hands it to Andy Myers.
13.25: There had been talk before the game that defender Sam Sodje cannot complete 90 minutes without a visit from the physio. Sure enough, when the balls hits him in the face, Hirons is haring his way over.
13.40: The last ten minutes have been tense. Sodje takes out Onibuje and it should have been a penalty. Paul Hart is blowing a gasket at the linesman. "That's you're f****** job, that is. You're there to f****** give them!".
13.45: Sodje is down for the second time. The bench stress it's not a record.
13.48: The final whistle - it's a 0-0 draw - and there are the traditional handshakes and hugs all round.
13.50: The boys know they should have won it, but Barnsley is always a hard place to get a result. Hunt earns special praise. They players are taken for a warm-down and are showered, changed and back on the bus within the hour.
The most impressive thing about Martin Allen is that everything is done the way he wants it done.